When I started this trek, I had no idea that it would grow to the point it is right now… This ministry began with a simple instruction- so simple, in fact, that I didn’t get it for 4 days! “Feed my sheep”. Typically, that’s how God speaks to us. Simply, plainly. Me? I have a tendency to complicate things. Making it into more of what I had in mind, instead of hearing God.
Well, once I got past my stubbornness and need to control the minute and simple instruction, I was able to fully understand that I won’t ever fully understand… and I needed to trust that God had this… just like He said He had.
Now, let me back up a few years… to the time I was really learning to hear God’s voice… the time when I was shocked that it really was Him… You know… some people attribute it to the little angel on your shoulder, or the attack of “conscience”, or they take credit for being “good”…. Well I did, anyway. But I truly understood when God was speaking to me when I was desperately praying to Him to change the heart of someone I loved dearly… and through my tears and anguish, God brought me to silence with the simple phrase… “I got this, Karole”. Shocked, I listened for more… then I questioned whether it was real or not. I actually said out loud, “God, he needs to change so this will work”…. God said to me, “What are you worried about something that is MY beeswax for? You have enough to worry about with changing yourself!”
Hmmmmm…. Talk about a Jesus Smackdown. I was totally humbled in that instant, knowing fully that He was right… (like He isn’t always). Well, it literally took me a week to fully understand what God meant and then when He said, “Jump”, boy, I’m telling you that I jumped. I did exactly as he said, and suffered through humiliation and conflict. I took strength from His word and asked Him to show me His Will. And pretty soon, I started to see results… I started to see the relationship that I had prayed for, change. I began to feel encouraged that God’s faithfulness is great, and I felt convicted that my faith in Him wasn’t nearly as big as it needed to be.
Well, it has been 5 or so years, and I have been practicing. God has used that instant in time to call me out several times since then, reminding me that He is the one in control of others… and I can only make choices for myself. Do the choices I make reflect my faith in Him? Well, I would like to say, for the most part, “yes”. But I am human.
What I do know is that the more I put my faith in Him… in His promise to send help when He lays another arm of this ministry on my heart, the more help He sends. The more I give Him the Glory for this whole thing… EVERY aspect, the more He builds it so that I can do more work and spread His Gospel to those who don’t yet know Him.
His mission is bigger than I know. It started with a little tomato plant on the side of a dirt road in a barrio in Mexico… and I don’t know how it has grown to what it is right now, and I don’t know how big God will make it… But I do know that He will not forsake me, His servant…. Because HE is faithful.
Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12