One of the things I learned in my Bachelor’s Degree program at Bastyr University was that I had a tendency to get stuck… stagnate. I did not like change of any kind, even though to an outsider, it may have appeared that I adored chaos – Well maybe I did – and maybe chaos and change are not the same thing… Anyway, for me, Bastyr was more of a personal journey than an education – a really expensive personal journey.
I resisted any kind of upset in the way I thought things should be done. I was, at that time a very black and white thinker and I would challenge anyone who thought differently than me. I was intolerant and my filters were nonexistent. I didn’t make many friends at Bastyr – and in fact I am sad to say that I am not in touch with any of those I did consider my friend while I was there.
It has taken a lot of time, but the program I was in, Applied Behavioral Science, was a pretty major catalyst that directed me to a closer relationship with The Lord. That is a story for another time – what I want to share about that education is because of the process I walked through to learn how to embrace change, I now see it as a healthy and very necessary part of my existence.
One of the times I was in Mazatlán, I realized that God recreates the flora and fauna of every beach with each and every tide – even each and every wave, I finally saw the artistry behind His Plan. I saw His brushes sweep across the horizon, racing toward me in a rolling ribbon of white foam and the picture never stayed the same from one moment to the next! I saw how I thought at the moment I fit into that picture – only to have HIS delicate touch create a scene around me that is nothing like what I would have thought…
My vision and His for my life were starkly different – And I could not articulate my vision, so I simply had to release myself to the ebb and flow of His tide and roll with it – as it were. These are the nebulous (in my view) little things that have put me where I am today… subtle little changes or huge, drastic changes – some noticed with excruciating pain and others not even noticed at all… and then all of a sudden I am looking back on a ministry that God put on my heart 3-1/2 years ago!
And when I look back, I jokingly say, “if someone would have told me that 3-1/2 years from now, you will be the executive director of an organization that plants gardens all around the world”, I would have told you, “You’re crazy!”.
I don’t know How God changes me exactly – I know it is through the influence of many I consider mentors and friends, leaders, pastors and those He has me here to serve! I also know it is through His pruning… He has pruned many from my life which has made me more productive for Him. He has created a prosperity for this organization that boggles my mind! So humbling that so many trust me to be a good steward. But I know this ministry has been in the works since the beginning of time – or at least the last 15 years!
When I think about resisting change, I find myself so happy to admit that the ONLY thing that doesn’t change is Jesus, and if I didn’t seek to lean into change, I would not have discovered the beauty of being in deep relationship with Him. Today, when I fear change, I cast that demon out in His name and charge ahead, and in obedience to my Lord, seek to grow through the changing circumstances He presents, because only the evil one would want the stench that comes from being stagnate